Coffee is its own food group, although the guys that make up the US RDA and all those food pyramids don't seem to have caught on yet. But it is definitely its own food group, and deservedly so. It's too good, too special, too vital in providing a source of nourishment so completely its own to be summarily lumped in with one of the basic four. Fruits and vegetables? Nope, it's neither. Dairy? While it's existence is often enhanced by the members of this noble food group (which gives us much butter), it is not by any means a dairy product. Meat and fish? While meat is a most excellent source of another dietary requirement, happy fat, it is not coffee (obviously). Breads and cereals? Again, a complementary group (for its danish pastry and cookies) to coffee, but not coffee.

So it stands to reason that coffee must then stand alone. The 5th food group. And happy are we that it exists, for without the life-reviving powers of that little bean, human life as we know it would have ceased to exist long ago. Yet, for all that we owe that noble beverage, so few people know how to pay it proper homage, know how to draw the greatest enjoyment out of what coffee we may be fortunate enough to encounter in our daily sojurn. Obviously, that's what I've been building up to: my pointers for getting the most out of your coffee experience.

 

When making coffee, always put in twice as much coffee as the next person thinks you need:

They'll tell you it'll be too strong, they'll whine that it won't taste good, they'll complain that it will make them bounce of the walls...ignore them. Especially in the office, where you may actually need to put in 4 times as much ground coffee. All too often, the coffee that you pour out of the office pot is just colored water. Coffee should not be translucent, it should be dark and opaque. It should have a lovely sheen of oil from the beans floating on top. If you can't actually taste it, what's the point of drinking it?

 

If you're going to put something in your coffee, use real sugar and real cream, damnit!:

Or at least half and half....artificial sweeteners get in the way of the coffee's taste. They're too cloying, and clog up some of the best taste receptors on your tongue. And that powdered cream substitute? Short of being lactose intolerant, why would you want to? It's boraxo with a little artificial flavor thrown in. It is not really a food product. Don't use it. as for skim, 2%, or even whole milk...there's nothing wrong with them per se, but using them in your coffee is a dire violation of Happy Fat.

Push your limits:

That first cup tastes good, and it feels good too...so why stop at one cup, or two, or...ten? Double-digit consumption can lead to a wonderful new state of awareness, as your mind's ability to see the greater whole is enhanced by rising caffeine levels in the brain. I personally have never consumed more than 14 cups in a day, but I know that somewhere around twelve, I definitely reach a new plane of existence....a sort of coffee nirvana....

 

And Finally...

NEVER wash your coffee cup

Stay with me on this....It's a lot like cast iron skillets or a wok or a good old-fashioned waffle iron...your coffee cup needs to be seasoned to truly complete your coffee experience. Ever look into a cup after you've finished a particularly strong cup of coffee? Notice the light brown stain that covers the china of the cup? That's the residue of those yummy coffee oils trapped in the substance of your cup. Yes, you've been deprived of enjoying fully that cup of coffee. How do you stop that from happening? I already told you, NEVER wash your coffee cup. You can rinse, but never wash. You want to get a steady buildup of those coffee oils on the inside of your cup, because as they build up, they build a barrier, allowing less and less of the coffee essence to escape you. That means more coffee taste, every time. Try it, you'll thank me for it....even when you have to explain to your co-workers why your coffee cup is so dark inside....

  I want to know how your coffee experience has been enhanced by this information. If you feel so inclined, drop me a line and tell me all about it.  Then, take a look at this collection of coffee links .