With health concerns so much in the public eye these days, I felt it was past time for me to share my amazing discovery with you: the Happy Fat Diet. Far too many Americans are concerned with controlling their weight, maintaining their figures, watching their fat and cholesterol intake, etc. I am here to tell you that you need no longer worry about these things, if you will allow yourself to embrace the revolutionary concept of Happy Fat.

Those who know me will attest that my eating habits are less than ideal. I have no qualms about consuming fatty foods. Cheese steak sandwiches, hamburgers, fries, Boston Cream doughnuts... and the all-time fat king, Fettuccine alfredo. They all find a way into my system, with some regularity (that is to say, I eat them frequently. That was not intended as a commentary on my digestion). Yet, I manage to maintain a not completely unappealing morphology (the skeptics among you are referred to this photo for the ocular proof. Don't be cruel). Why? Because I have discovered the secret of Happy Fat!

So Alright, already, you think, enough with the buildup, on with the secret! It is simply this: there are two types of fat - happy fat and unhappy fat. This has nothing to do with the nature of what is consumed, but the mind set in which is is consumed! Happy fat is consumed in a positive state of mind, and so feels welcome. It becomes a good guest, and knows when it has worn out its welcome. It does not dally, it does not dawdle at the doorstep making extended goodbyes, and talking on and on about how much fun it had and how we really should do this again, don't you know...Happy Fat considerately leaves when its time is up, because, since you're such a good host, it's obvious that more fat will be paying you a visit shortly, and you'll need the space. Of course, if you need pointers on how to improve the level of happiness in your day, you may want to read about The Theory of Conservation of Positive Energy

Unhappy fat, on the other hand, is ingested in a mood of anger, frustration, or guilt. It knows that you don't really want it, that you may even resent it. How is this fat to feel? After all it was sitting peaceably, minding its own business until you came along, with you negative aura, and chowed it down. It is understandable, then that such fat, under such circumstances, might bear the eater ill will, and thus become a bad guest. As such, it would make sure that its stay was less than pleasant (for you, that is). It would go where it wasn't wanted, settle in comfortably, perhaps even invite some friends in to join it. What does it care? You're paying the bills...

Once you have fully come to understand and embrace the truth of Happy Fat, you will be ready to begin a life a moderate indulgence (for gluttony is a negative force as well. Even in the world of Happy Fat, there is need for moderation) that will leave your friends amazed. But do not fool yourself. This is not an easy path, for it requires that one truly believe. It requires keeping in touch (figuratively speaking) with one's body, in order to find out what kind of fat it REALLY wants. It will tell you, if you listen. To truly become an initiate of the Happy Fat philosophy, you must find your own personal most happy and most unhappy fat. It is different for each of us. If you feel like sharing your personal fat epiphany, please send it to me, and I will add it to the lists below, which serve as examples for those who may not yet grasp this concept.

Unhappy Fat - Things to avoid

	Any fat in a pre-measured portion
	Any fat left over in a "reduced-fat" food (especially low-fat cream cheese!)
	The fat in whole or low-fat milk, if chosen over cream as a coffee lightener

Happy Fat - Things to try

Understand, of course, that all fat can be happy, if consumed with the proper attitude. These suggestions, however, are excellent examples for those not quite clear on the concept

	Whipped Cream, when previously residing on the anatomy of a loved one
	Ice Cream, eaten on a summer day with friends
	REAL Cream cheese, on a bagel, eaten over a leisurely breakfast with a friend
	The Ultimate super fat pasta sauce

As I said, these are by no means exhaustive lists, but are merely examples. I can only hope that by sharing this amazing philosophical finding with the web, I am improving the quality of life for some deserving person, somewhere...