I have a very basic approach to parenting.  Unlike many of my other thoughts about life, it is neither deep nor compelling.  It doesn't have the brilliant insight of the  Happy Fat Diet, nor the near-genius  application of those ideas in Happy Fat Economics.  It doesn't have any of the profound re-examination of basic physics like my ground-breaking work on my Time Machine.  In fact, the only redeeming factor of my approach is that is has, until now, kept my kids alive (knock on wood).

The whole idea is basically this:  don't do anything that would make you embarrassed if it showed up on the eleven o'clock news.    You know what I mean. There are people to whom unfortunate things have happened.  There are people whose misfortune has been at least partly the result of their own stupidity.  While their misfortune is sad, you can't help but say "What were they thinking?"   Anyone quoted as saying any of these things:

	"We thought she was sleeping"
	"I didn't know it was loaded"
	"Well, the kids were playing 'Oxbow Incident'...."
	"After we duct-taped the children to the floor, we went out drinking..."

...is just asking to be talked about around the water coolers of America.  So I always ask myself, when watching my children, if what I'm doing could somehow end up making me one of those stupid people on TV.  For this reason I never:

	Play "Hansel & Gretel" with my children using a real oven
	Allow my children to play most variations of the "William Tell" game
	Participate in any activities with my children that try to determine how many of something they can fit in their various orifices....
	leave matches, cleaning fluids or sharp knives where they can reach them

Of course, there's no guarantee that I won't still meet my shame as the opening story on the local news, but it won't be for lack of trying.   

What I'd really like to know is what's the dumbest thing you've ever heard on the late news....so tell me